So this long or short post (I couldn't decide it) is dedicated to a young and beautiful woman. She's a wife to a kind man and a mother to a really cute and brilliant daughter. I am so sure she or anybody who knows her or whom she known would not and perhaps never going to read this post. But in case it happen, please, I beg you for this once, don't have any negative thoughts on me. Because, really, this is a dedication, which means, to whoever I dedicated this post for, must be a really great and kind person. Even though I have never meet her, and perhaps I will never meet her in my whole life. I just, at least once, deep down in my heart, hope she will notice this post and knows exactly what I am going to tell her. Because I do adore her as the great woman, wife and mother.
I realized how much I have hurt you, kak. I realized how I made you felt disturbed, upset and mad at me. I never really had a deep thought of what is the consequences for all things that I have done. You thought that I was going to ruin your life, but no, I am never going to ruin a woman's life. What more if she is the one that I admired and really adore because of her achievements in her life. Her achievement for being a great wife, her achievement of being a really loving and brilliant mother. How on earth am I going to do that? If I really happened to have that kind of intention, to ruin your life, I bet I am the stupidest girl that should never feel the taste of happiness through my life. And I swear that everyone on earth could against for me being such a bad girl.
Your life is definitely interesting, wonderful and just fine on my account. Plus, you are kind of a public figure. It just normal that people always look up to your posts about your life, about your cute daughter and all. And it just a normal thing, that I am one of those people. I didn't mean beyond that. I know my limits. But perhaps, for some reasons of the past, I accidentally, unconsciously made you feel kind of uneasy. I am sorry for that. That's my bad.
I will never forget for what I have done to you, I perhaps will never forgive myself for caused the mess on your life, even it's virtually. I am writing this, hoping that you will forgive me, once you've read and know how exactly my feelings and what exactly I am trying to tell you. I may will never know how's your life after this. But I really wish and hope everything will be fine and as great as how your life would be, as ever. You are such a great woman, stay being one. You might not knowing the moment you post anything about your life, you had at least inspire one person, another woman, that wish to be as good as you, dear Mrs. Fara Hanim.
Happy 3rd Anniversary. I didn't wish anything but the happiness in your life with you beloved family. Tell everybody that I am so sorry for everything. I won't expect any kind and warm-hearted thoughts from any of you. What is wrong will stay wrong. And as how I did the wrongs, I know I am surely will never reserve and have the right of the good expectation anymore from anyone. But at least, I promise I won't repeat the same mistakes. And I won't, for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry that I decided to mention your name here. But let the world know how strong you are, to actually had to deal with a really dumb girl like me. Thank you for letting me know what I have done wrong and thank you for all the wise words.
Everybody, SHE IS a great woman that I've mentioned throughout this whole post.
Sincerely, the girl who regrets
and sorry for what she
had done, Ira.
Thank you, great woman.
Thank you, great woman.
