Why Istikharah?

Assalamu’alaykum peeps! HAIIIIII *insert excited reaction.jpg. *sigh. How long has it been? Hm.

Now, why do I write about istikharah? I don’t know. I just feel like writing about istikharah. Perhaps due to one particular event that had recently happened to me. And I just felt like, this is the time of my life, where all I need is “istikharah”. To be honest, I’ve only had performed istikharah for once before this (when I was in my secondary school) and I can barely remember the reason of my istikharah back then (sorry not sorry :p).

Now, for another time, I felt the need to do istikharah. Because I’ve come to the point where I felt so miserable of my own thoughts. Though I need to make one important decision for my life, I felt like my mind, most of the time was being elsewhere and nothing I felt is right. I couldn’t make any good and right decision. I just felt the need of full reliance on others, of Allah’s guidance to be exact. Yeah, I realised that now, the answer is, do istikharah.

That is why, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why I decided to write about istikharah now (from my point of view) after ages of not writing about anything (sorry not sorry, again :p).

So, what is istikharah? According to The Islamic Light (2014),

“The word Istikhara directly means, to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning a job or deed. 'Khair' means good (asking Allah to guide you to the good or right answer). Meaning, you're not asking Allah to show you a vision, through a dream”.

Okay. For the first time in forever, I did a proper quoting for my post luls okay.

So, based on the definition above, we all know what istikharah means. It is basically the thing you’ll do to guide you in making decisions. Now, I am not going to talk about how we are going to be guided by istikharah or how to perform istikharah. I am just going to talk about why. Why istikharah? Of all decision-making methods/techniques in the world, but why istikharah?

Well, I guess, as for us Muslims. Istikharah is not really a decision-making method but it is a part of the process of making a good decision. Well you cannot just do istikharah alone to make one particular decision in your life right (?). The reason of one does istikharah is because they feel the need or want to be guided by The One that they believed to be al-‘Alim and al-Hakim. He is Allah, al-‘Alim and al-Hakim.

I do believe that in order to make a good, right and best decision for any great deals in life, you’ll always need istikharah. But before that, you should reason yourself of why you need istikharah. This is what I’ve been doing throughout my life so far. Whenever something came up and forced me to make a decision from a complex choice, I’ve always put istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do to complete my decision-making process. Nope. It is not that I refused to Islamising my decision-making process or not to referring to The All-Knowing to guide me in making a good decision.

You know, whatever things we do and we face in life, God already destines it. Everything has already planned for us. The thing is we will never know the truth. We will never know of what is the best for us. We might know what is good and what is bad but we might will come across one phase in life where the thing that we thought a good and right thing in the first place turned out that it was not really the best thing for us and the bad thing or bad decision is not necessarily going to bring the bad outcomes in our life.  

Now it depends on us, of how we could make a decision that will, at least decrease the probability of having a not-so-good outcome later on. In addition, the fact that, even anything that comes to us, like our instincts or helps from others or any books and online posts that we read or from our own observations of this world, those are basically from Allah. So the idea of putting istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do in life in making a decision, from my viewpoint, it is not because I put Allah aside in my life. It is because, I first, need to reason why should I perform istikharah. Was I already had a deep thought about that particular issue? How important was that issue? Was I minimised the choice and whatnot, to make things easier for me and others? Did I already do istisharah regarding the deal? Yea. Istisharah. Also a part of decision-making process I suppose. 

What is istisharah? It is basically when you ask a person who is an expert or knowledgeable or at least someone you trust that could give you some good ideas regarding the istikharah subject you wonder. I've come across few readings about which one should comes first; istisharah or istikharah? For me, it does not really matter of which one comes first. But how you try your best in making a good decision based on the 2 methods. Personally, I would prefer to do istisharah first. Then only I'll do istikharah (if I feel the need to). But note that istisharah and istikharah should complement each other especially when you are in the state of you could not even think right about making a good decision.

Now, this has come closer to the topic of "Why Istikharah?". I believe that whatever confusions we had in our mind, there must be reasons behind it. Perhaps, the confusions you had could be solved with you doing some readings about the issue or doing istisharah with others. It might be you have not yet in the state in which you are in need of istikharah to make a decision. You know, people, some might performed istikharah not only because they felt the need or wanted to be guided by Allah, but simply because they felt like they need to do it. Just because. Or simply because they had this thought where "istikharah" is a must in the process of making a decision. 

But the thing is there also some kinds of people in which #1 when they performed istikharah, they are full aware of the outcomes they might get; like the answers and the aftermath of deciding one particular thing. And even if it turned out that their decisions were not the best at the end of the day, they could just accept the fact that this, is part of their life; making a right or wrong decision that may affect their life. And #2 those who performed istikharah with the idea that, whatever decisions they will make after that is the result of the istikharah they have performed in which the objective is to make the best decision. So, when things started to be the way that they did not wanted it to be, they might blame the fate. Or worse they might have lost faith in God.

Those of #2 are the type that we should avoid of becoming one. That is why. Ask ourselves, why istikharah? Should it be a must in every decision-making process? To what extent you would rely on istikharah and have faith in whatever decisions or state God will put you in after you do istikharah? But one thing's for sure, Istikharah really going to help you a lot in making a very important decision that will later affect your whole life. As long as you have a fine level of tawakkal or faith in Allah and you know that no matter what, you could always accept your own qada' and qadr without questioning this and that in a bad way later on. 


Leaving you with that, I would love to remind you and my own self. Whatever outcomes that we may get after those decision-making process, even if things go the way we would not want it to. Always know that, He, Allah, al-'Alim and al-Hakim always and forever has the best plan for us.

Disclaimer: This is not necessarily about marriage luls bye.