Why Istikharah?

Assalamu’alaykum peeps! HAIIIIII *insert excited reaction.jpg. *sigh. How long has it been? Hm.

Now, why do I write about istikharah? I don’t know. I just feel like writing about istikharah. Perhaps due to one particular event that had recently happened to me. And I just felt like, this is the time of my life, where all I need is “istikharah”. To be honest, I’ve only had performed istikharah for once before this (when I was in my secondary school) and I can barely remember the reason of my istikharah back then (sorry not sorry :p).

Now, for another time, I felt the need to do istikharah. Because I’ve come to the point where I felt so miserable of my own thoughts. Though I need to make one important decision for my life, I felt like my mind, most of the time was being elsewhere and nothing I felt is right. I couldn’t make any good and right decision. I just felt the need of full reliance on others, of Allah’s guidance to be exact. Yeah, I realised that now, the answer is, do istikharah.

That is why, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why I decided to write about istikharah now (from my point of view) after ages of not writing about anything (sorry not sorry, again :p).

So, what is istikharah? According to The Islamic Light (2014),

“The word Istikhara directly means, to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning a job or deed. 'Khair' means good (asking Allah to guide you to the good or right answer). Meaning, you're not asking Allah to show you a vision, through a dream”.

Okay. For the first time in forever, I did a proper quoting for my post luls okay.

So, based on the definition above, we all know what istikharah means. It is basically the thing you’ll do to guide you in making decisions. Now, I am not going to talk about how we are going to be guided by istikharah or how to perform istikharah. I am just going to talk about why. Why istikharah? Of all decision-making methods/techniques in the world, but why istikharah?

Well, I guess, as for us Muslims. Istikharah is not really a decision-making method but it is a part of the process of making a good decision. Well you cannot just do istikharah alone to make one particular decision in your life right (?). The reason of one does istikharah is because they feel the need or want to be guided by The One that they believed to be al-‘Alim and al-Hakim. He is Allah, al-‘Alim and al-Hakim.

I do believe that in order to make a good, right and best decision for any great deals in life, you’ll always need istikharah. But before that, you should reason yourself of why you need istikharah. This is what I’ve been doing throughout my life so far. Whenever something came up and forced me to make a decision from a complex choice, I’ve always put istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do to complete my decision-making process. Nope. It is not that I refused to Islamising my decision-making process or not to referring to The All-Knowing to guide me in making a good decision.

You know, whatever things we do and we face in life, God already destines it. Everything has already planned for us. The thing is we will never know the truth. We will never know of what is the best for us. We might know what is good and what is bad but we might will come across one phase in life where the thing that we thought a good and right thing in the first place turned out that it was not really the best thing for us and the bad thing or bad decision is not necessarily going to bring the bad outcomes in our life.  

Now it depends on us, of how we could make a decision that will, at least decrease the probability of having a not-so-good outcome later on. In addition, the fact that, even anything that comes to us, like our instincts or helps from others or any books and online posts that we read or from our own observations of this world, those are basically from Allah. So the idea of putting istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do in life in making a decision, from my viewpoint, it is not because I put Allah aside in my life. It is because, I first, need to reason why should I perform istikharah. Was I already had a deep thought about that particular issue? How important was that issue? Was I minimised the choice and whatnot, to make things easier for me and others? Did I already do istisharah regarding the deal? Yea. Istisharah. Also a part of decision-making process I suppose. 

What is istisharah? It is basically when you ask a person who is an expert or knowledgeable or at least someone you trust that could give you some good ideas regarding the istikharah subject you wonder. I've come across few readings about which one should comes first; istisharah or istikharah? For me, it does not really matter of which one comes first. But how you try your best in making a good decision based on the 2 methods. Personally, I would prefer to do istisharah first. Then only I'll do istikharah (if I feel the need to). But note that istisharah and istikharah should complement each other especially when you are in the state of you could not even think right about making a good decision.

Now, this has come closer to the topic of "Why Istikharah?". I believe that whatever confusions we had in our mind, there must be reasons behind it. Perhaps, the confusions you had could be solved with you doing some readings about the issue or doing istisharah with others. It might be you have not yet in the state in which you are in need of istikharah to make a decision. You know, people, some might performed istikharah not only because they felt the need or wanted to be guided by Allah, but simply because they felt like they need to do it. Just because. Or simply because they had this thought where "istikharah" is a must in the process of making a decision. 

But the thing is there also some kinds of people in which #1 when they performed istikharah, they are full aware of the outcomes they might get; like the answers and the aftermath of deciding one particular thing. And even if it turned out that their decisions were not the best at the end of the day, they could just accept the fact that this, is part of their life; making a right or wrong decision that may affect their life. And #2 those who performed istikharah with the idea that, whatever decisions they will make after that is the result of the istikharah they have performed in which the objective is to make the best decision. So, when things started to be the way that they did not wanted it to be, they might blame the fate. Or worse they might have lost faith in God.

Those of #2 are the type that we should avoid of becoming one. That is why. Ask ourselves, why istikharah? Should it be a must in every decision-making process? To what extent you would rely on istikharah and have faith in whatever decisions or state God will put you in after you do istikharah? But one thing's for sure, Istikharah really going to help you a lot in making a very important decision that will later affect your whole life. As long as you have a fine level of tawakkal or faith in Allah and you know that no matter what, you could always accept your own qada' and qadr without questioning this and that in a bad way later on. 


Leaving you with that, I would love to remind you and my own self. Whatever outcomes that we may get after those decision-making process, even if things go the way we would not want it to. Always know that, He, Allah, al-'Alim and al-Hakim always and forever has the best plan for us.

Disclaimer: This is not necessarily about marriage luls bye.

Of what the future holds...

I can't remember have wrote anything related the future here, like "what imma be in the future", "what the future holds", or "in the future, i will..."

Truth to be told, I am so scared of the future. I guess, I am not the only one. I heard a lot of people are actually claimed that they are worried about what is going to happen.

Until I realized what I had barely done. That is to believe in Qada' and Qadar of Allah. 

Hope

"My dear, when I tell you about hope,
I want you to imagine
the sweat dropping off Hajra’s skin
as she insistently runs for water
in the midst of the desert.

I want you to feel
the pain and the strength
of a father like Ibrahim
when he looked into his son’s eyes
as a sacrifice to God;

Feel the betrayal in Yusuf’s heart
when his own flesh and blood
tossed him away like garbage
and the thick darkness inside a whale
where Yunus resided, alone.

I want you to picture the wide sea
in front of your feet
as Musa fled from the pharaoh
and how terrified Asiyah must’ve been
as she resisted her violent husband.

Scream, as Bilal’s bones get crushed
while his mouth uttered the shahada
and wonder how Rasulullah
could still continue his path
as blood was flowing down his head
and soiled meat was thrown at him.

And maybe then
when you see it all, feel it all, imagine it all,
you would learn that
thirst didn’t win over Hajra and Ismael,
and Ismael wasn’t slayed.
Neither did Yusuf end up unsuccessful
and Yunus forgotten.
Musa and his people still crossed the sea,
Bilal saved out of nowhere
and Muhammad’s mission is blooming
like never before -

because my dear
hope means not seeing an escape yourself,
but knowing that Allah
always does."

— “O you who believe! be patient and excel in patience and remain steadfast, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, that you may be successful.” Q(3:200)

Source : Tumblr

Giving Up on Life

This is gonna be my last update on my blog. I'm gonna go. You're not gonna see me after this.

I'm gonna buy a lot of anti-depressant pills or any kind of pills I could easily get. I'm gonna eat all those pills, all at one time, until I couldn't catch my own last breath.

Or.

I'm gonna take a sharpened knife and cut my hands off. Let the bleeding take all over my body. Let the blood dry and finally, let me run out of bloods and, die. You're not gonna see me again.

Nahhh~

Those are some thoughts of some people who wished to end their life by their own selves. So tragic huh?

Have you ever think if those thoughts are your beloved ones'? Have you ever imagine if your family or even your friends were going to do some stupid stuffs just to end their lives in silence? What would you do if you could read a suicidal person's thoughts?

Often I think, those who have commit suicide were so stupid to do such things. I mean, what were they think? Didn't they think about what would happen to those who loved them? Their parents, their lovers, their friends. They are all the ones who were left behind, misery. It is unfair. To end your life and pass those misery on to the ones who are still alive.

But then again, even those who have commit suicide must've never willing to do that in the first place. They must've think about committing suicide for at least 50 times before they were really do that. There must be some issues to finally made them decided to do as such.

Poor souls, too late we never knew what they've been through.

Have you seen someone who smiled, but with a just-finish-crying face? Their eyes a little bit puffy, their cheeks and nose are red, but we all know that they weren't red because of the cold neither hot weather. They are red because the sadness they've kept since. How about those tearful eyes? Have you seen it before?

Before they feel like the world is nothing but a burden to them, why don't we try to figure out about what we can do? I know, there aren't many things we can do. We can just hold them, hug them and tell them that it's alright, it's gonna be fine. That's the least we can do I think.

Giving up on life is definitely a serious matter one could ever think of. You know, life itself is already hard. Sometimes it could be a burden. And thinking about end one's own lives, it's one big burden. To think between continuing life and to continue face the difficulties in life or to end life but with a heavy heart because you know, there are actually many things one could do to put the smile back on face.

Whoever you are out there. No matter what religion you are, even if you are an atheist. Just have faith. Have faith in your God/gods. Have faith in yourself. You can handle this. This is not a big deal. Say to those difficulties or misery that they got nothing on you. Your life are more beautiful compared to those things that made you want to end your life now. There are still a lot to discover. Life is beautiful, though it is hard.

In my religion, Islam, we were taught to not even hurt ourselves. We were forbidden to cut off our own hands or to swallow pills all at one time. We are prohibited to commit suicide. And there are a lot of wisdom behind these commandments.

And to you, who encounter those people who wished to commit suicide. Never leave them alone. They need you. They need you when there was nobody beside them but you. They need you the most.

Well, you can't really save people. But you can always love them. And that would literally save them.

AMEEN

AMEEN

Hijab and Changes

Assalamu'alaykum!

It's always a pleasure to write on blog again! I mean, I have no better place to write on things that I would really love to talk about and is re-readable in the future. Because I'm a girl with a bad handwriting, I'm so serious lah mannn.

Such a bad and ugly handwriting will automatically turns my excitation to write into a "i have to stop writing now" mode. So, that is no good. While I really need somewhere, a platform where I can write the things that happened or my own thoughts that came across my mind which I really wish to not forget. Which I feel like I need this thing in the future. So, here is where I pour my hearts and minds to.

I started blogging since I was 13. And trust me, I used to have more than 5 blogs before. Back then, when I was 13, when I was still a so-called a kid or a teenager which is going through a phase of growing up and wanted to discover as many things as I can. I used to write whatever I wanted on my blog. As far as I can remember, I didn't even filter what I've wrote. I mean, I just wrote it the way I wanted. I told almost everything that happened in my daily life. I've said the things I shouldn't sometimes. I expressed my feelings about people on my blog, about the things that I like or hate about them, everything have been written on my previous blogs. Well, I've deleted all of my previous blogs hoping no one will remember about the things I've said and wrote (bcs I used to have few of loyal followers back then if I could say ;P)

But things have gotten a lot different as I growing up. I learnt about things that I should or should not tell people in real life as well as I learnt how important it is to know the limitations of the things I would love to share or would like to write on my blog, facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.
Thanks God, He showed me the way I should take into account about the things around me.

Now, back to the topic, hijab and changes. Basically I just wanted to share how Hijab really change my life.

I started to wear a proper hijab since I was 16, I guess. Covering the areas that really need to be covered. I have to admit that I was not a full-timer as a hijabi back then as there are few times that I don't wear hijab when I'm in the presence of the males who are not my immediate family like my male cousins or my aunts' husbands. (And I'm still struggling to wear a proper attire and be a full-timer as a hijabi until now.) Before that, I can say that I only wear a proper hijab and a proper muslimah attire when I was at school. But I used to disagree to wear a proper attire outside of the school like a looser dress or a longer tudung or shawl because it kind of burdening. For me, it was a burden. But Alhamdulillah, somehow, I can't remember when did I decided to don a longer and looser dress. I ended up to be used to it until now. I'm not comfortable anymore to be in a tight dress.

Then I started to think, what was the reasons and what is the significance to wear hijab? I mean, yeah, that is what Allah has command to us, as Muslim, to really cover our 'aurah regardless the gender. That is when I started to see hijab as not only a tudung or shawl, for women, neither as a songkok or any kind of dress that covers the part starting the area around the navel up to the knees specifically for men.

Hijab means something else. Not just what we are wearing.

I learnt that hijab is the way we show ourselves to the world. How we supposed to represent Islam. Not to brag. But to preach. To do dakwah. You know that one of the things that people can tell if you're a muslim or not is by what you are wearing. I'm talking about the first impression. Everyone has their own first impressions on things. So it's normal that people can judge you by the way you dress.

Really, Hijab is not just about what you are wearing. It is also what you do and say. It is the way you walk, talk, look and think. It is about who you are and the way you express your way of life. That is hijab. That is why Allah has command us to wear hijab and that is one of the significance to wear hijab and to cover your aurah properly.

With hijab, I learn to control myself on the way I should act publicly. I learn about the things I should say, write and share whether in real life or in the social media. I learn to think as muslim. It doesn't feel good when I know that I'm wearing hijab but still think about the bad thoughts on things or people around me.

With Hijab, I learn to change myself to be a better muslim. And I learn to change the way I write and share about things on social media.

That is our obligation. I love a quote by Fatma Pasha in 99 Cahaya di Langit Eropah saying that with hijab on, she's obliged to show the world what Islam is. She's obliged to act, talk and think as how a muslim should be. Islam is peace. That is how we should represent ourselves.

From the smallest matter to the bigger issues. I know that Islamophobia now has spread so widely and people with this phobia often judge by the attire that one is wearing.

I believe that it is one of our biggest tasks a muslim. To show the world that with Hijab on, regardless you are a muslim or muslimah, you have to act like one. You have to think and talk like a true muslim. That's the only way to change what people think about you. Making sure it's a good change and with even our slightest effort to change to be a better muslim in order to help the Deen of Allah, that is Islam, insyaAllah, Allah will help us too.

Let's be a better muslim!

May peace be upon you.

The Love is back!

Assalamu'alaykum everyone!

huh finally, I can write something on my blog. I really had not much time to switch on my laptop and sign in blogger to write here bcs really hectic days these days. Well, not thaatt hectic it just I'm too busy doing chores that's all ;P

So, here now, it's been a week since the Love is back! Who's the Love?

It's Ramadhan! Ya Allah Alhamdulillah, God still give me chance to enjoy Ramadhan this year. This is a great blessing bcs my last Ramadhan was just...I don't know, I don't think I did well last year. But Allah, He is The Most Merciful, still give me the life to live to actually do tawbah :'( I've sinned a lot :'(

Please pray for me that I will never waste this Ramadhan as how I did in previous years. And I pray that all of our deeds and tawbah will be accepted by The Most Merciful, The Greatest of All, Allah.

Thank you Allah. Thank you for the Love named Ramadhan. Thanks a lot. :')