Why Istikharah?

Assalamu’alaykum peeps! HAIIIIII *insert excited reaction.jpg. *sigh. How long has it been? Hm.

Now, why do I write about istikharah? I don’t know. I just feel like writing about istikharah. Perhaps due to one particular event that had recently happened to me. And I just felt like, this is the time of my life, where all I need is “istikharah”. To be honest, I’ve only had performed istikharah for once before this (when I was in my secondary school) and I can barely remember the reason of my istikharah back then (sorry not sorry :p).

Now, for another time, I felt the need to do istikharah. Because I’ve come to the point where I felt so miserable of my own thoughts. Though I need to make one important decision for my life, I felt like my mind, most of the time was being elsewhere and nothing I felt is right. I couldn’t make any good and right decision. I just felt the need of full reliance on others, of Allah’s guidance to be exact. Yeah, I realised that now, the answer is, do istikharah.

That is why, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why I decided to write about istikharah now (from my point of view) after ages of not writing about anything (sorry not sorry, again :p).

So, what is istikharah? According to The Islamic Light (2014),

“The word Istikhara directly means, to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning a job or deed. 'Khair' means good (asking Allah to guide you to the good or right answer). Meaning, you're not asking Allah to show you a vision, through a dream”.

Okay. For the first time in forever, I did a proper quoting for my post luls okay.

So, based on the definition above, we all know what istikharah means. It is basically the thing you’ll do to guide you in making decisions. Now, I am not going to talk about how we are going to be guided by istikharah or how to perform istikharah. I am just going to talk about why. Why istikharah? Of all decision-making methods/techniques in the world, but why istikharah?

Well, I guess, as for us Muslims. Istikharah is not really a decision-making method but it is a part of the process of making a good decision. Well you cannot just do istikharah alone to make one particular decision in your life right (?). The reason of one does istikharah is because they feel the need or want to be guided by The One that they believed to be al-‘Alim and al-Hakim. He is Allah, al-‘Alim and al-Hakim.

I do believe that in order to make a good, right and best decision for any great deals in life, you’ll always need istikharah. But before that, you should reason yourself of why you need istikharah. This is what I’ve been doing throughout my life so far. Whenever something came up and forced me to make a decision from a complex choice, I’ve always put istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do to complete my decision-making process. Nope. It is not that I refused to Islamising my decision-making process or not to referring to The All-Knowing to guide me in making a good decision.

You know, whatever things we do and we face in life, God already destines it. Everything has already planned for us. The thing is we will never know the truth. We will never know of what is the best for us. We might know what is good and what is bad but we might will come across one phase in life where the thing that we thought a good and right thing in the first place turned out that it was not really the best thing for us and the bad thing or bad decision is not necessarily going to bring the bad outcomes in our life.  

Now it depends on us, of how we could make a decision that will, at least decrease the probability of having a not-so-good outcome later on. In addition, the fact that, even anything that comes to us, like our instincts or helps from others or any books and online posts that we read or from our own observations of this world, those are basically from Allah. So the idea of putting istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do in life in making a decision, from my viewpoint, it is not because I put Allah aside in my life. It is because, I first, need to reason why should I perform istikharah. Was I already had a deep thought about that particular issue? How important was that issue? Was I minimised the choice and whatnot, to make things easier for me and others? Did I already do istisharah regarding the deal? Yea. Istisharah. Also a part of decision-making process I suppose. 

What is istisharah? It is basically when you ask a person who is an expert or knowledgeable or at least someone you trust that could give you some good ideas regarding the istikharah subject you wonder. I've come across few readings about which one should comes first; istisharah or istikharah? For me, it does not really matter of which one comes first. But how you try your best in making a good decision based on the 2 methods. Personally, I would prefer to do istisharah first. Then only I'll do istikharah (if I feel the need to). But note that istisharah and istikharah should complement each other especially when you are in the state of you could not even think right about making a good decision.

Now, this has come closer to the topic of "Why Istikharah?". I believe that whatever confusions we had in our mind, there must be reasons behind it. Perhaps, the confusions you had could be solved with you doing some readings about the issue or doing istisharah with others. It might be you have not yet in the state in which you are in need of istikharah to make a decision. You know, people, some might performed istikharah not only because they felt the need or wanted to be guided by Allah, but simply because they felt like they need to do it. Just because. Or simply because they had this thought where "istikharah" is a must in the process of making a decision. 

But the thing is there also some kinds of people in which #1 when they performed istikharah, they are full aware of the outcomes they might get; like the answers and the aftermath of deciding one particular thing. And even if it turned out that their decisions were not the best at the end of the day, they could just accept the fact that this, is part of their life; making a right or wrong decision that may affect their life. And #2 those who performed istikharah with the idea that, whatever decisions they will make after that is the result of the istikharah they have performed in which the objective is to make the best decision. So, when things started to be the way that they did not wanted it to be, they might blame the fate. Or worse they might have lost faith in God.

Those of #2 are the type that we should avoid of becoming one. That is why. Ask ourselves, why istikharah? Should it be a must in every decision-making process? To what extent you would rely on istikharah and have faith in whatever decisions or state God will put you in after you do istikharah? But one thing's for sure, Istikharah really going to help you a lot in making a very important decision that will later affect your whole life. As long as you have a fine level of tawakkal or faith in Allah and you know that no matter what, you could always accept your own qada' and qadr without questioning this and that in a bad way later on. 


Leaving you with that, I would love to remind you and my own self. Whatever outcomes that we may get after those decision-making process, even if things go the way we would not want it to. Always know that, He, Allah, al-'Alim and al-Hakim always and forever has the best plan for us.

Disclaimer: This is not necessarily about marriage luls bye.

Heart is Opening

This happened frequently that some of my friends whatsapp me asking about some things regarding my last tweets. Too frequent that even this small matter really is bothering me. Right now.

You know sometimes, I don't even realize about my own tweets. Because I am someone who really tweet randomly. When I was mad, I am tweeting about what's made me mad, when I was sad or unhappy, my tweets will go about all sentimental, melancholic and emotional things and when I am so happy, well, I sometimes laughing and tweeting. So one thing doesn't necessarily means about the whole things, you know what I mean? I mean, I can be sad by now and you can see that I am sad through my tweets. But then after about 2 minutes, I am actually laughing my lungs out, and totally forget about the things that made me sad.

So I am really sorry if my tweets is a big deal enough for you to really care about me. Really. I am sorry and thankful for your concerns. 

It's been years, since I broke up with someone whom I thought would be my one and only prince. (ugh gross). And oh, he's going to get married in a few days time. :)

I know, sometimes, I let the memories takeover my feelings, my emotions and even my tweets. How silly. I should've already stop tweeting my feelings out, I guess, it's not even worth a read. It is so hard to move on when your hopes were too high, and you just wanted everything that you wished for become reality. I am overwhelmed by those thoughts of mine. I'm sorry again. 

Someone said that I should give myself more chances to be happy, I should open up my heart and see the wisdom behind of what happened. I know. That's what I've been doing since these past few years. Once I love, you know, I'm gonna love so hard. I even let myself getting hurt so easily. So I am the one who supposed to be blame in the first place.

*sigh*

It's been years already. Time to really get rid of those memories. Bad and good memories. Time to really focus on my own happiness. It's been 3 years since he has cheated on me. I'm hoping you to not do the same thing to your loved one like what you've done to me. Don't let your devils confiscate other people's happiness. Especially women.

There I go. 

I will try my best to stop tweeting about my own feelings or let my emotions takeover others' wonderful days just to whatsapp me asking about what's going on. I'll be more careful after this. I'll behave myself. I promise. Thanks again for all your concerns, friends.

Until next time. xoxo

I am Sorry

I've been keeping things to myself. Like really I've always keep things to myself that there were times where I felt like I couldn't bear with it anymore. There were times when I thought I'm actually have gone mad and crazy and over-depressed and stressed out that lead to some psychological impairments. At times I felt like I'm supposed to be committed to an asylum.

These past few days, I've cried so much. I've cried inside. I've cried inside countless time. I've cried my lungs out.

There is this one person. Who used to hurt me countless time. Now, he's going to get married soon. And that's okay for me. His life now is nothing for me to care about.

But, I've no idea. All that I can think about now is, the guy, the one guy who've hurt me, who once cheated on me, who once take me for granted, who used to broke my heart into pieces with bad and hurtful words, who once belittle me for who I am, who made me think that I am the worst girl, who once put a blame on me without reasons, who call me names and he is who never ever say "sorry" to me and at least trying to apologize.

And now, that guy is going to get married and seems that he is so in love and is going to live his life happily with the one he loves.

Every little things happened, every memories, good memories, bad memories, every bad things he have said to me, every bad things he has done, I can't help but to remember all of them. I even have a box of stuffs containing our memories. I tried, I've tried so hard to forget everything or at least one memory about him. Yet the more I tried, the more I get hurt and the more I hate him.

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason I write this post, I guess this emotional post this time is not just to tell about the bad things one has done to me. I don't really know how to put this into words.

But until now, I guess, the only thing that I need to hear is a "sorry".

Please, people. If you ever done all those bad things to others, if you ever hurt one soul, of course you've hurt at least one soul don't tell me that you should be called a saint because you've never hurt anyone. We were all once there. We are. Please, if you ever done that, never hesitate to say sorry. You never know how meaningful a "sorry" is to those brokenhearted souls because of some bad things or even bad words caused by others. A sorry might save a suicidal person. Please, I beg you to ask forgiveness from the ones you've hurt.

A "sorry" might never heal wounds, but it might be the only thing that people who've being hurt wanted to hear. At least, they would feel that those who've hurt them are actually feeling bad for doing that.

This kind of thing, may lead to a forgiveness and healing. Think about it.

Up till now, I can't figure out how to forgive you, because you've never ask me so.
I've hurt so much I became the most heartless girl.
This kind of weird but, I am sorry I can't forgive you yet.

Hijab and Changes

Assalamu'alaykum!

It's always a pleasure to write on blog again! I mean, I have no better place to write on things that I would really love to talk about and is re-readable in the future. Because I'm a girl with a bad handwriting, I'm so serious lah mannn.

Such a bad and ugly handwriting will automatically turns my excitation to write into a "i have to stop writing now" mode. So, that is no good. While I really need somewhere, a platform where I can write the things that happened or my own thoughts that came across my mind which I really wish to not forget. Which I feel like I need this thing in the future. So, here is where I pour my hearts and minds to.

I started blogging since I was 13. And trust me, I used to have more than 5 blogs before. Back then, when I was 13, when I was still a so-called a kid or a teenager which is going through a phase of growing up and wanted to discover as many things as I can. I used to write whatever I wanted on my blog. As far as I can remember, I didn't even filter what I've wrote. I mean, I just wrote it the way I wanted. I told almost everything that happened in my daily life. I've said the things I shouldn't sometimes. I expressed my feelings about people on my blog, about the things that I like or hate about them, everything have been written on my previous blogs. Well, I've deleted all of my previous blogs hoping no one will remember about the things I've said and wrote (bcs I used to have few of loyal followers back then if I could say ;P)

But things have gotten a lot different as I growing up. I learnt about things that I should or should not tell people in real life as well as I learnt how important it is to know the limitations of the things I would love to share or would like to write on my blog, facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.
Thanks God, He showed me the way I should take into account about the things around me.

Now, back to the topic, hijab and changes. Basically I just wanted to share how Hijab really change my life.

I started to wear a proper hijab since I was 16, I guess. Covering the areas that really need to be covered. I have to admit that I was not a full-timer as a hijabi back then as there are few times that I don't wear hijab when I'm in the presence of the males who are not my immediate family like my male cousins or my aunts' husbands. (And I'm still struggling to wear a proper attire and be a full-timer as a hijabi until now.) Before that, I can say that I only wear a proper hijab and a proper muslimah attire when I was at school. But I used to disagree to wear a proper attire outside of the school like a looser dress or a longer tudung or shawl because it kind of burdening. For me, it was a burden. But Alhamdulillah, somehow, I can't remember when did I decided to don a longer and looser dress. I ended up to be used to it until now. I'm not comfortable anymore to be in a tight dress.

Then I started to think, what was the reasons and what is the significance to wear hijab? I mean, yeah, that is what Allah has command to us, as Muslim, to really cover our 'aurah regardless the gender. That is when I started to see hijab as not only a tudung or shawl, for women, neither as a songkok or any kind of dress that covers the part starting the area around the navel up to the knees specifically for men.

Hijab means something else. Not just what we are wearing.

I learnt that hijab is the way we show ourselves to the world. How we supposed to represent Islam. Not to brag. But to preach. To do dakwah. You know that one of the things that people can tell if you're a muslim or not is by what you are wearing. I'm talking about the first impression. Everyone has their own first impressions on things. So it's normal that people can judge you by the way you dress.

Really, Hijab is not just about what you are wearing. It is also what you do and say. It is the way you walk, talk, look and think. It is about who you are and the way you express your way of life. That is hijab. That is why Allah has command us to wear hijab and that is one of the significance to wear hijab and to cover your aurah properly.

With hijab, I learn to control myself on the way I should act publicly. I learn about the things I should say, write and share whether in real life or in the social media. I learn to think as muslim. It doesn't feel good when I know that I'm wearing hijab but still think about the bad thoughts on things or people around me.

With Hijab, I learn to change myself to be a better muslim. And I learn to change the way I write and share about things on social media.

That is our obligation. I love a quote by Fatma Pasha in 99 Cahaya di Langit Eropah saying that with hijab on, she's obliged to show the world what Islam is. She's obliged to act, talk and think as how a muslim should be. Islam is peace. That is how we should represent ourselves.

From the smallest matter to the bigger issues. I know that Islamophobia now has spread so widely and people with this phobia often judge by the attire that one is wearing.

I believe that it is one of our biggest tasks a muslim. To show the world that with Hijab on, regardless you are a muslim or muslimah, you have to act like one. You have to think and talk like a true muslim. That's the only way to change what people think about you. Making sure it's a good change and with even our slightest effort to change to be a better muslim in order to help the Deen of Allah, that is Islam, insyaAllah, Allah will help us too.

Let's be a better muslim!

May peace be upon you.

Never get enough of Nips

Assalamu'alaykum so finally I am writing again on my blog. 

And I actually kind of mad to write on blog right now since it is final exams week. Oh well, just need some escape I guess. :p

I have 4 papers to go starting from 26th of May until 3rd of June. And I'm not sure if I had even 60% of the preparation. 

Keep calm...keep calm...

First paper will be on Bahasa Melayu Kerjaya on 26th of May. And guess what, I haven't revised any topics of it since I get a lil bit too much worries about the other 3 subjects. Keep remind myself that "you can't do this Ety, even it is bahasa, you still got a lot to revise"

Ok I will start tonight!

Then, one day gap, there will be 2nd paper on Science of Qur'an. On 31th of May will be Revelation as Source of Knowledge and finally on 3rd of June is Intro. to Psychology!

Science of Qur'an (SOQU)

Revelation as Source of Knowledge (RASOK)

p/s: not that rasuk (possession by a spirit) gais please lah gaisss

Intro. to Psychology

My loyal companion I call CINTA!

And finally Nips and Chocolate! A must for a revision period! Can never get enough of NIPS!

Those are some pictures and sorry for the mess. Well, messy room and desk are normal and sensible when you're a student and it's your finals time! ;p

Ok I have a lot to study and I really need to go. See you peeps again after my last paper! I have some great things to announce! teehee~!

#PrayForEty 

Ukhwah Fashion Showcase 2015

Alhamdulillah, on 30th of December 2015, me and my team (DeenFleur Hijab) joined a fashion show organised by AzilaAziz (you can find her on FB). It is Ukhwah Fashion Showcase. To be honest, this is the first fashion show I ever attend in my whole life. Well, the first and only reason we have decided to join this show was because, experience is one crucial thing that we need the most. We need the experience, and Alhamdulillah, the good people and great event were definitely a "bonus" to us. The organiser, Kak Zila deserved the thumbs up and salutations from us!

Of course there were some problems occured, but hey! what's experience for without any mistakes!

Now, let's just enjoy some photos taken by our photographer.

Our makeup was done by Victoria Jackson, because it's free! But well, I don't really like the heavy makeup. But it's okay! It just for one night tho T_T

Spot the DeenFleur HIjab!

That was me talking about our DeenFleur Hijab. Well, just a little thing. But I love how I felt that night and how precious the experience are!

So for some reasons and problems, the models didn't wear our products. But hey, on the bright side is, the organiser of this event herself was happily donning our new collection, Fishtail by DF. Thanks Kak Azila! Really appreciate your willingness!

Now, our non-smiled face. ugh. Fret not, we were just fine by the moment!

Definitely the ones that have always been so important in my life and in DeenFleur Hijab! Love them, my aunties!

Yeay! There is DeenFleur Hijab.

Actually, there more and more photos of the night. But I just had a little time now to upload and select everything. We had so much fun! And there are a lot of vendors with great masterpieces! All products are just good! For more photos, you can see on AzilaAziz FB Page

Thank you everyone!

Of 2015

Assalamu'alaykum~

So, the title is quite  cheesy and cliche. I knew it :p But then, it doesn't matter what the title supposed to be. The one thing that matter the most, and nearly have always been important is, the contents, the things about what I would love to talk about.

So, tomorrow gonna be the new day, the brand new start to everyone. It's gonna be 2016! I don't know how to say this, but this feeling, it is so unexplainable, I really have no idea how to put all this feelings into words. It's like I'm really running out of words, of the words that really matter to be expressed.

2015 has been a year of, I don't know, a lot of things happened, whether I like or not, they just happened. I've learnt so much, more than the days of 2015, or the hours through the year. I've laughed so hard, I've cried, I've been worried, I've felt the anxiety, the embarrassment, the everything. They are all sometimes mixed and happened just in one day. Surpisingly, I can remember some of the moments that brought me those feelings, it's just like yesterday

If only I had the time, I would write everything into one book. The book of 2015. Where I've learnt most of everything that I need throughout my life journey. To some people, some things that I've learnt might be the smallest thing to be cared of. But to me, big or small, more or less, we just have to learn about it. Everything has started ever since before I am ready for it. Well, sometimes I do expect or getting ready of some things, but, most of the things happened just definitely beyond my expectation.

In 2015, I am a daughter (as ever), I am a sister (as ever), I am a friend, I am a student, I am, sometimes as mom (to my baby cousins), I am a businessgirl (at deenfleurhijab), I am a poet (just in a certain ways and time), I am, whatever you've called me or whatever you've think of me, but no, I ain't that girl you always had in mind. Because I'm just me. Living everyday, and hoping that I have and will always gonna have tomorrow while sometimes, I hope I'd forgot yesterday and sometimes I hope I won't.

I don't expect much from 2016 that will be around just in a few hours to be as how 2015 went. I just wanna live everyday happily without having to regret for what I've done, because I used to be the one that, pathetically, always regret everything that I've done or that happened to me.

For the last words of 2015, THANK YOU should've be enough, for everything.

And may all of us can be much better than we were through this memorable 2015.

Until then.

New Daily Routine

So, I have about one month left before I embark to a new beginning, a new journey as a student of bachelor degree. I am yet to know what major I would get, that I would be studying, but, yeah let's just wait for it.

I started to think that I've spent my days, my holidays, doing absolutely nothing. It's exhausting actually, So, I just think that, I need to change. I need to change everything about my daily routine. So, the reason why I blogged this post is because I just need to have sort of a startup, because having a startup is definitely something a person, like me, need the most in order to do something beneficial. It kind of the thing that would kick me and force me to do something. Well, that was just my two cents. So, yeah ;p

And here's what I planned to do for my daily routine. Hope it'll goes as what I planned. Please, pray for me.

I need to perform the qiyam. Really hope I have the strength and willingness to do it! And stay awake until fajr prayer. Yeah, as a muslim, this is the best thing to start with. That, I was, shamefully never really care about. yeah, shame on me.

and then...

-make sure to have 2 cups of plain water after fajr prayer

-have a cup of teatox

-have a breeze morning walk or jogging (kalau i rajin) and some exercises, a simple workout

-have breakfast! 8.30 a.m at the earliest and 9.30 a.m at the latest!

-do some chores like laundry, doing dishes, or sapu sampah or buang sampah

-helping mom cooking for lunch

-have lunch with my little family

-perform zuhr prayer

-working out

-perform 'asr prayer

-have some sweet tea time

-perform maghrib prayer

-make sure to recite at least 1 page of the qur'an

-have a really simple dinner

-perform isya' prayer

-doing anything (that I can think of in the meantime)

-go to bed! (11 p.m at the earliest and 12.30 a.m at the latest)

So, those are the things that I am gonna do for my daily routine. Well it doesn't really have to be exactly what I'm gonna do at the exact time as what I've plan. Because, for sure, there are some works relating to my business that I have to do everyday. So, it just as how I plan and really hope everything will goes perfectly as how I expected it would be.

And I'm sure gonna update of what this new daily routine can do wonders to myself. Until then!

Work, work and work!

Assalamu'alaykum!

Yeahhh so after about few months being a lazy bum. Finally, I'm back to work! Just about a couple months to go before I embark into the new world, that is Degree World! in  IIUM Gombak, insyaAllah. heee really can't wait for the day to come! to I finally can call myself as a degree student. Being home is nice and great! But staying at home 24/7 30days/month is really a worst idea. Nahhh, I do go out sometimes. But 90% of my life after finished my foundation level, is actually staying home doing nothing. I can die of boredom!

But well, I just remember that I actually gotta do something (a lot of things, actually). yeah, my DeenFleur!

We will do a comeback ya people! InsyaAllah we will start with Ukhwah Fashion Showcase on this 30th of Dec 2015, will be held at Ruang Event Space, Shah Alam. Yeah, we can't wait for it!

But before that, of course there are lotsa things to be done. So, my work and hectic days is started! Gonna do our best to serve the best for you insyaAllah. We just need all the du'as from you people and a really sweet-heartwarming support from everyone. :') Do support our products. Wait for it yeah!

May all the good thoughts and du'as returned!

Do follow our FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/deenfleur/
and our Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deenfleur/

I'd love to write longer this time. But the times and all those awaited works won't allow me to do so. :')) until then. xoxo

DeenFleur is back!

Assalamu'alaykum. 

See the title? 

Ok stay tune!

Ehhe!

Being A Blogger

Assalamu'alaikum

So awhile ago, I was just thinking about what am I right now, what I am doing or what I've been doing and how good my life has been so far. I don't know. It just a common random thought that I think, not just me, all people around the world would have it at least once or twice in their lifetime. And somehow, 'blogging' and stuffs came through my mind and remind about my blog. About this blog. I am not sure how old my blog is now, because this is not my first blog, actually. This blog is about the 4th or 5th or 6th blog of mine I guess, I don't know. I even have so many previous posts that I've deleted on this blog due to some unknown reasons. And I don't even really remember my gmail password ahah!

I've been blogging since 13, yeah, I guess. 13. I'm sure about it. ok. So, back then, when I was 13, when I am started do the blogging, you know, I don't even know the reason why, the point why should I create the blog and why did I create the blog. I only did it because, it's a trend, I guess back then. A brand new trend that people always look up to. The trend that people have been doing to compete each other, to gain followers, or to be well-known by the world, or being a public figure. I'm not saying that all people do blogging because of such reasons, no hate ok, but I guess there are that kind of people. Because I was do the blog to be known, honestly. Wanted to be known at least among 1000 people or strangers. As far as I remember, I did think about being a serious blogger, gain so many followers and all. I even had few friends that I got from blogging, the blogger friends I should say. I even thought of making the blogging as a job or at least a business like some people do.

There were times when suddenly my fb chat is popped out from people I don't even know who they are. I received good comments and saying by some of my followers. But I also got some bad words by some people. Well, at least I knew and I'm ready of what people would say. But somehow I'm just not really into it. I just don't care.

And now, I even hide my follower list. And as far as I know, my blog now doesn't even have that follow button. am I right? Since then, people, I haven't been receive any strangers' hello or 'hey you are that girl on blabla blog aite?'. Yeah, and I'm totally okay with it.

Well, things has completely changed. What I want right now is definitely different with what I wanted. I do the blog because I just feel like I want to. You can tell I don't really consider this blog as a serious business anymore. Because sometimes there are some random things that I wanted to talk about and sometimes I just write about my thought, expressing my ideas about the things that going on in our life. For me, if people happen to read, and they want to read, about what I am writing, go on. Enjoy it or just have it. Even so in case nobody would read what I'm writing, nobody cares, nobody really into it, then, I just fine. I don't feel anything. I don't really expect anything when I decided to just continue blogging.

I'm glad how blog has brought some new friends that still stick being friends till now. But to gain more contacts or to be known by blogging, that is definitely not I wanted, anymore. Well I do need friends. But not by this kind of thing. Might be through a lot of things in the future.

So, about being blogger... I don't actually labeling myself as a blogger. Because as far as I'm concerned, that term Blogger can only be used to someone that is well-known, or if they aren't really a popular person, at least they do the blog and taking the blog seriously as a serious thing. yeah, that's what I think about being a Blogger. Because I'm not doing this seriously, I just blogging when I feel I want to or when I feel I need to (due to boredom and all).

Footnote: Sorry for my damn bad grammar. So many grammar errors, I know. I just can't help. I'm not really good at English. Still in the learning process. So, yeah. Bye peeps.

Of the 19th birthday of mine.

Assalamu'alaikum!

Finally. It's 28th of September and I'm officially 19. I can't believe it homagaahhhh~ how time flies!

Well supposed to be something really meaningful for this post as it is my 19th birthday and should a lot of things happened at least for the whole day because things happened during days are much better than nights. But...I guess it just really nothing happened for the whole day. hurm. I know my life is wonderful, it just that the most wonderful things yet to happen on my birthday huh? But it's okay, things will go much better soon. (Zatys being sooo unnecessarily positive ohoks).

So, what did I do for the whole day of 28th of September 2015? ehem here I go!

So I woke up for fajr prayer and "accidentally" had fallen asleep after performing subh (hah gotta change since I'm getting much older and surely gonna die soon enough!) hiks I know you gonna think as such. And then I woke up againnn around 10 am (early enough to be your mommy's daughter in law? jkjk) and was quite snap and mad and upset with myself for not celebrating my own birthday early in the moring, why did I slept again? why did nobody would be there to wake me up? why? and oh it's my birthday! gotta wake up immediately and taking bath and putting clothes on and make up and getting all ready for an out and a celebration. yeah~ there you go girl! And just then I realized that I was in a deep sleep thinking about celebrating my birthday, while I'm still in a deep deep deep sleep homagaahhhh and finally, I woke up! real one! around 10.15 am. hah! Please do understand what I was trying to tell you peeps.

Then I wake my mom up, and yeah we all got ready and then, time to go! I drove my mom's car and mom of course stay with me lah. Who else I'm gonna celebrate my birthday with? If not with the one who gave birth to me? eh? wtv. And as we don't really have much time left, sebab bangun awal sangat kan(?) *sarcasm* sooo we were just heading to BP Mall. Well that is the best and nearest place we could ever say, for the time being, yea. And all I want is just to eat sushi and sashimi! Mom pon agreed with me so we went to sushi king, for a breakfast and lunch at 12++ pm. kah!

Right after that, we walked around BP Mall aimlessly, looking for the things, I'm not really sure what are they because everything looked so boring to me as well to mom. and yeah. I don't really have the idea why would my birthday be this boring. it's okay. hah. Then I decided to look for my thingy things in Guardian and there I bought something yeaayyy finally. Then we stop by the Living Cabin looking for the cool things and just staring at them for few seconds and continue to the Reject Shop yeay! Almost forgot that I got the member card and as it is my birthday and shall I get 20% for shopping in Reject Shop so yeaaa shopping! New clothes on my birthday worth better than the other day. Yea I did bought some new clothes and how satisfied! yet, didn't really fit on me. yea gotta start my diet and fitness routine soon enough T_T

uuuuuu sooooo gooooood! love salmon so much!

And finally, we decided to just go back home. We got nowhere to go. At least, we lived in a quite small town, so, went to a mall is just quite enough for a birthday girl. (i am getting more positive i know right! kah!)

Coming back home and mom cooked Nasi Hujan Jerebu for dinner (not jerebu actually. it is nasi hujan panas. but as it's kind of a rainy day with haze freakingly thick and it doesn't seem to get any better within another 2 days, so mom decided to just give it a new nonsense name which is Nasi Hujan Jerebu. hah my mom so funny) and it is sooo delicious! rosak diet aku.

mom's cooking! nasi hujan jerebu versi ibu. so sedap!

And yea. Let's just call it a day because I don't really have interesting things to tell you. yea I know this is so damn boring but hey congratulations that you've read it till the end of the page! yeayyy *applause!

OKAY. SORRY FOR BEING DAMN NONSENSE ON MY BIRTHDAY. AT LEAST I DON'T DO THAT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY ahahahahahah okay serious. sorry!

And oh! BP Mall already got SASA mehhh yeayyy! Waiting for SEPHORA ngeeee~!

here the first selfies on my 19th year of living the life! hah bear with it

Still Alive

Assalamu'alaykum~

So,

yeah,

i'm still alive.

though the title or it might sound so cliche but babe, i'm alive. still alive.
for some reasons (tho i don't know what were the reasons), i didn't post any on this blog.
day by day.
one after another.

there were a lot of things that i have been through, a lot of things happened, bad and good.
all that i can do is just be so much thankful to HIM, The One who gives the life and death and the great planner! I know that He knows a lot and knows everything that people not know.

there must be a great wisdom behind all these happened.

yesterday was such a nightmare to me. had an accident and some bad things happened in one day. i just can't let the world know every detail of what happened. but somehow i really really need some du'a and motivational quotes from people.

i just need to get up and move on.
and.
i just need to be so thankful.

Allah...

anyways, due to the accident. i just had some minor knee injury which is sooo minor and nothing so bad happened to me which is so Alhamdulillah.
need some rest.
until then.

Ku Seru

(Assalamu'alaykum)

So i finally updating my blog after a month. I thought it was just about 2 weeks ago since i did wrote some. Well time is ticking too fast that i'm actually in the 3rd month of continuing my 3rd semester. I'm in the midst of mid-term exams, man, i'm serious, maaannn.

But why eh? Semangat study i seems like to be lost already? T___T

Dengan ini aku seru namamu semangat study datanglah padaku, dampingilah aku, kerna aku amat memerlukanmu. ok.

wait.

What did i do just now? --"

okbye.

Howdy do?

Assalamu'alaykum!

Apa khabar semua? Saya sihat. hihi

So, to blogging is gonna be quite difficult for me due to the slow-internet-connection at my new mahallah. I don't know why. But it's okay then. Could it be a friendly warning for me of not being too attached (for almost 24/7) on the social networks? Of course kan! yeahhh

My first week of sem 3 was fine. I love everything in the first week but the add/drop session. Ugh, can't believe that i'd actually have to do the add/drop. Seriously, it sucks. Though i didn't really got to feel the unwanted/torturous/agonize-feeling of doing the add/drop in the time of which is so crowded, busy and too loud. Because the add/drop session was available for 3 days and i did the session on the second day, most students already settled down their add/drop session. But still, it so exhausting. Of course. The thing that i don't even planning to do ever since the first day i'm in the cfs. But due to the too-little-credit hrs i had, i really have to do  the add session. Well, at least. I did add one subject.

Enough for me.

And for the business that i currently running in, i have just another commitment. It's not that hard because i have people that are willing to help me out. As i said on the last update, i have my business partner which is my own aunty, my family member and even the rest of my family (some of my aunts) are giving their best to help me out related to my business.

Overall, things are getting tougher. I somehow don't really know how to make the best out of the times i had. Perhaps, i really bad at multitasking things and stuff. But heyyy, it just a beginning. Human beings need times, and you know, i'm a human being, just like you. ahaks!

I actually have a lot to say, but i just can't help it. Mengantuk giler!

Ok bye!

Hi! How about an intro?

Asslamu'alaykum~ hui hui! ahaks  a new way for an opening? ;p

So i don't really know how or where to start but i actually have started talking about my small business on my latest updates. Yeah baby, that DeenFleur. You can find us on fb, type je DeenFleur, i'm sure it's one in a million luls, if not, let me know please ya? as well as on instagram. Just search DeenFleur, insyaAllah ada. Like and follow us will ya? ihiks.

This year, i'm just thinking about to start pursuing my dream. I know la it's not that easy and some people even quite sceptical because, can you imagine how a (still 18 y/o) girl yg still in foundation starting doing business for real? But serious laaa of course i have a partner. How can i go starting even a small business by myself? Yes, my partner is my own makcik or mak sedara (a mom to two kids) of course kena mention about that! ahaksss!

Having to tell about how this thing did actually across my mind is i don't know, it just somehow all of a sudden i'm thinking that "i really need to start a small business" and i said that to my aunt and she did say the same thing and we, right after that, we started.

Terus order label for our brand from this one instagram (onthestreetbygf). Because we thought that, with label or with having our own "brand name" is actually the thing that encourage us the most. And we just go on with that.

Without me thinking about how or why or when or who or where about my own condition, you know, as a student. Really a new student. Macam freshie lah kira sebab baru setahun lebih tinggalkan zaman sekolah. Hmmm tough...

But still, i'll try my very best. Because my so-called new resolution is to be an expert in multitasking. Wuuu big dream for myself! alaaa i'm a big big girl in a big big world it's not a big big thing if you leave me~ haha!

And you know what the toughest thing? It is because i'm not an individual yg instafemes or twitfemes or blogger femes or everything with 'famous' at the end.

Say what? It's not even a problem? I actually once think the same way before.

But then i just heard about it from some people. yeah~ it's a problem actually when it comes about things related to business and stuff.

But no i don't want to talk anything about that. I think you knew it well.
Well.
I'll just have to try my best kan?

Penat harini like wanna cry huwaaa! (i'm a girl, remember?). Tetibe.

Oh did i not explain about DeenFleur? I didn't did i? How about next update?
Or you can easily like DeenFleur on FB and follow DeenFleur on instagram. Thank you in advance babies! heee byes~!

Oh ya, Introducing our basic materials: heavy dull satin and moss crepe for skirts and many for shawls!

It might be starting fully online on February. 

Oh we will also be a part of Jumbo Sales in Kolej Matrikulasi  Melaka. There will be discount for early birds! 

All you further visit will be much in our thoughts and million thanks in advance to you!
Take care!

Assalamu'alaykum and bye again~ heee!

Oh it's 2015 already! Oh I did not wish a HNY.

Assalamu'alaikum!

Macam selalu lah. I have been meaning to blog. Yet i don't really have the time and when i have the time, i prefer do something else which is not related to blogging and stuff. So how ah?

Now, according to my latest issue on blog. There said that i'll be sitting my final exams on the very first and second day of 2015. So rasanya 2015 did welcoming me with papers, pens, sitting in exam hall, stressed out looking for answers, and on top of all, i think i've got one greatest lesson on my very first day of 2015 which is not to hold to PROCRASTINATION and clearly DO NOT PROCRASTINATING! not anymore!

 luls, the same lesson as to every examinations that i've been through.

Aih terok sangat nak hilangkan tabiat buruk ni grrr!

So yeah, let bygone be bygone. Now, do'a is my greatest weapon.

Now, come to think of it. I haven't and really didn't wish anybody a happy new year. Not because of the examination. It just because i don't really have that kind of feeling and eagerness to say any wishes. Not as how i used to be.

Dulu, every new year mesti sibuk nak mesej everyone and wish them a HNY. I don't know how and why that feeling came but maybe in accordance with the factor of age and environment. Yelah, dulu umur baru setahun jagung and get too attached with virtual social life. Environment pon dikelilingi dengan friends yg asyik sibuk wish. Sometimes dah dua minggu new year pon still got the texts, Now, yes still dapat wishes but not as many as the ancient time. amboi ancient sangat. haha!

Even the temptation has gone too weak and i can say that i don't even have the tendency to wish a happy new year. But don't be too annoyed if i'm not replying to your wishes. Your name will always be in my do'a. Isn't it better? :p

Somehow I don't really care about posting something about new year and stuff in my fb or instag or twitter like a picture saying "2015, please be nice to me" or "thanks to 2014 for everything". Sama, not as how i used to be before. hmmm. I'd really growing up didn't i? or should i say, growing old? be someone yg jauh lebih matang. owhhh it's nice~ teeeheee~!

Talking about be matured, i'm just thinking of doing something bigger and more adventure. Like, doing business? I don't know how it'll be going and i'm not certain what awaits and what'll come next but this time, i think i really want to give it a try. Try what? Try to do more multitasking. luls. Hope that'll be the encouragement for me to really leave my bad-procrastinate self behind. I think if i have more commitment on serious things like the things that'll take me to do more sacrifice and having to take high risk onto every side of an outcome, i'll be more determined and committed to my task and responsibilities. This was only a hypothesis that i think somehow i does make a sense.

I was so afraid on making my own decision and challenge myself. But this time, i think i shouldn't really think about the failure and just go with effort and ventures.

This was only a new start and a great beginning for my business. Go search deenfleur on instagram. It still under construction but heyyy let's wait for the update!

Ok thanks and may you have a great new beginning and wonderful times along the great new year!

Wait, did i just give you a wish?

heheee cheers~!

Give and Take.

Assalamu'alaikum~

So last time was a very short update. I have the problem of desperately wanting to write something on the blog without having any specific themes or topics to say or even to discuss about. Sometimes when I go through my blog and found one short update that I wrote which talking about an absolute random stuffs (no benefits at all) I somehow feel like gonna really delete such things. Sometimes it comes to the extent where I want to sepak myself for doing such.

-Not 'sepak' guna kaki tu, itu terajang (kick). 'Sepak' guna tangan (slap). Geddit?
Oh come on, omg, I successfully introduced to you the homograph from Malay words. Ohwow!
*self bro fist* (vain again)-.-

Well, it just annoyed I think. Seems like I really don't have anything good to share that might benefited to those who read. It just I've spent for a few minutes just to write something which is totally vain.

Now, I just want to talk something that less vain (hopefully) because there's no way I could do something which is innocently vainless. luls.

That is about "Give and take" as you can see my title above can't you? heee~

 Now, when dealing with social network, you really have to consider about that kind of give-and-take-concept. You know give and take? Of course you know kan? It is mutual compromises; generally from dictionary.

Give and take is when people reach for an agreement with one another by giving up and receiving something that they wanted. It comes in any forms such stuffs like books or foods, as well as in the form of giving ideas. Like a good-natured exchange of ideas, comments and feedbacks.

So, it is important as well to practice this give and take concept in the social medias like facebook, twitter, instagram, blog and the 3rd kind of web like whatsapp, wechat and you just name it  yourself 'cause I'm sure we are social network freak and knew and we have discovered almost every apps kan? hohooo~!

Some people, from my observation, they really make use of their social webs that they had. From just taking up some good inputs to giving back their own point of view in several topics. Likewise when they have giving up their ideas, they will take others' feedbacks or comments. These people, we really need them nowadays dalam-dunia-zaman-teknologi-komunikasi-tanpa-sempadan, endless. Because somehow, when we give the good things to others, we will apparently retrieve the positive vibes and ideas as what needed.

This positive things are totally a contradiction when we use our social webs aimlessly or without any good intentions. I meant, doing such a vain in the webs and, even worse when we use the social media to spread the bad thing and negatives such being a fake freak or cursing people through the facebook or twitter as how we can see nowadays. Well, what you give you get back kan? Know the consequences yourself.

In case you are categorized as one of those who are might have or already have been using this social network to do such bad things or even had commit cyberbullying (ini melampau), maybe dah boleh berubah 360 degree into the better person in social network.

You will never know the things that could ever happened to you. If do good, then insyaAllah Allah will reward you with the better thing. Otherwise, you might don't want to know the punishment that awaits you. Especially as a Muslim, to spread the good things and do dakwah is a compulsory for us. Selagi hayat dikandung badan. Do as much good deeds as you can. Spread the positives to show how good Muslim you are.

Give something good such as dakwah, beneficial information pon considered as 'Ibadah if you are a Muslim. See how beautiful Islam is. So, if you have a facebook, twitter acc (i'm sure you have. haha) then post lah status yang baik2, tweet the good things. If you have a blog, then write lah something yang beneficial. If you have instagram, post lah gambar yang baik baik. Because sometimes when we too often post our selfies, nampak macam selfish and it might bring harms. -THINK ABOUT IT-

GIVE AND TAKE on social network is to give others the good points as well as to take others' better points. Even if we are not in the consensus, at least, there'll always points to take, we just have to look for it.

-Yes, I'm trying my best to write benda benda yang berfaedah rather than post randomness more often.

#PrayForNurshahirahIzzatiAlias

*amboi.

heheee~!

Peace and Assalamu'alaikum~!

Of a Serious Kind of Syndrome.

Assalamu'alaikum!

I just wonder has this kind of situation ever happened to you?

A (driver): wehh mana ni jalannya? depan tu simpang nak turn right ke left?
You (co-driver konon): oh depan tu kau belok kanan.
A (driver): *bagi signal light ke kanan*
You (co-driver): weh! apasal kau bagi signal ke kanan weh?
A (driver): kau kata tadi BELOK KANAN!
You (co-driver): eh aku tunjuk kiri lah tadi! aku kata kanan eh?
A (driver): ye! kau kata kanan tadi!
You (co-driver): oh yeke? ehehe sorry ehehehe ok2 belok kiri ehehehe *gelak sengih konon innocent*

OR

B: kau dah padam ke semua gambar dalam phone kau ni?
You: dah. but don't worry. aku dah transfer and save semuanya dalam sim card.
B: Sim card? are you sure?
You: yeah sure. semua dah save.
B: no not that. sim...card? sim.....? *sceptical face*
You:.........
B:..........
You: oh aku cakap sim card eh tadi? ok2 tukar lah. memory card. ehehe *gelak sengih konon comel*

OR

When you read something, novel or magazines and there's a word 'baking' and you pronounce it as 'lacking' instead. or there's 'melambatkan' but you pronounce it 'melambai akan' instead and somehow you just sceptical of the sentence, you have that-"what is this author trying to tell me? is they typo or what?"-kind of feeling. "seriously, lacking a cake? / melambai akan masa?"

But hellll nooo that author tak typo pon, you yang SPEAKO/PRONOUNCO/READO pfffftttttttt.
and then you read again and you just realized that "hahahahahaha aku yang silap! hahahaha"
So...weird...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the first situation, I had experienced it several times but the 'co-driver' was not me.
And for the second and the third, yesss! THAT IS SO ME kahkah! I made those 2 kind of examples because, c'mon babe! I would certainly telling you the truth. Because reality gives better lessons to learn. alasan ahak ahak!

Sometimes I just wonder, how does it happen? how it became? how come this kind of funny syndrome happened around us? Lakkai sayyy it sooo funnehhhh! Funny lah bila ingat balik how can you be so tak fokus that you can make those silly mistakes.

So I call it Syndrome Speako, Pronounco, Reado. or Syndrome-Eh-sorry-I-tersilap cakap!

And don't take this matter as not-so-serious matter sebab for the first situation actually boleh buat you accident. Because it really nearly happened to me. Last time when I went to tak ingat pergi mana, with  friend. One of my kelik suruh belok kanan, and I made the signal to the right and pusing steering wheel ke kanan when suddenly she screamed "eh bukan kanan! kiri! salah2 nanti sesat kang kita!" and buatkan kami almost hit a man with motorcycle. It seriously bahaya.

and same as goes to the second and third examples. Perhaps that won't cause you an accident but still, it's a silly thing and we should be better in communicate and reading. Be a good speaker amd reader. Imagine if you are the emcee of a grand event or even heritage event and you tersilap baca you tercakap something that will embarrass you so much in front of the audiences.

Perhaps, there is a way, a good way to improve apa yang patut di improve kan ekkk.

So, let's do some exercise. cerdaskan otak sikit and be better. and STAY FOCUS!

p/s: just another random post as I have no idea what to do in this short sem break. 'Till then!