Why Istikharah?

Assalamu’alaykum peeps! HAIIIIII *insert excited reaction.jpg. *sigh. How long has it been? Hm.

Now, why do I write about istikharah? I don’t know. I just feel like writing about istikharah. Perhaps due to one particular event that had recently happened to me. And I just felt like, this is the time of my life, where all I need is “istikharah”. To be honest, I’ve only had performed istikharah for once before this (when I was in my secondary school) and I can barely remember the reason of my istikharah back then (sorry not sorry :p).

Now, for another time, I felt the need to do istikharah. Because I’ve come to the point where I felt so miserable of my own thoughts. Though I need to make one important decision for my life, I felt like my mind, most of the time was being elsewhere and nothing I felt is right. I couldn’t make any good and right decision. I just felt the need of full reliance on others, of Allah’s guidance to be exact. Yeah, I realised that now, the answer is, do istikharah.

That is why, ladies and gentlemen, the reason why I decided to write about istikharah now (from my point of view) after ages of not writing about anything (sorry not sorry, again :p).

So, what is istikharah? According to The Islamic Light (2014),

“The word Istikhara directly means, to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning a job or deed. 'Khair' means good (asking Allah to guide you to the good or right answer). Meaning, you're not asking Allah to show you a vision, through a dream”.

Okay. For the first time in forever, I did a proper quoting for my post luls okay.

So, based on the definition above, we all know what istikharah means. It is basically the thing you’ll do to guide you in making decisions. Now, I am not going to talk about how we are going to be guided by istikharah or how to perform istikharah. I am just going to talk about why. Why istikharah? Of all decision-making methods/techniques in the world, but why istikharah?

Well, I guess, as for us Muslims. Istikharah is not really a decision-making method but it is a part of the process of making a good decision. Well you cannot just do istikharah alone to make one particular decision in your life right (?). The reason of one does istikharah is because they feel the need or want to be guided by The One that they believed to be al-‘Alim and al-Hakim. He is Allah, al-‘Alim and al-Hakim.

I do believe that in order to make a good, right and best decision for any great deals in life, you’ll always need istikharah. But before that, you should reason yourself of why you need istikharah. This is what I’ve been doing throughout my life so far. Whenever something came up and forced me to make a decision from a complex choice, I’ve always put istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do to complete my decision-making process. Nope. It is not that I refused to Islamising my decision-making process or not to referring to The All-Knowing to guide me in making a good decision.

You know, whatever things we do and we face in life, God already destines it. Everything has already planned for us. The thing is we will never know the truth. We will never know of what is the best for us. We might know what is good and what is bad but we might will come across one phase in life where the thing that we thought a good and right thing in the first place turned out that it was not really the best thing for us and the bad thing or bad decision is not necessarily going to bring the bad outcomes in our life.  

Now it depends on us, of how we could make a decision that will, at least decrease the probability of having a not-so-good outcome later on. In addition, the fact that, even anything that comes to us, like our instincts or helps from others or any books and online posts that we read or from our own observations of this world, those are basically from Allah. So the idea of putting istikharah as the last thing that I’ll do in life in making a decision, from my viewpoint, it is not because I put Allah aside in my life. It is because, I first, need to reason why should I perform istikharah. Was I already had a deep thought about that particular issue? How important was that issue? Was I minimised the choice and whatnot, to make things easier for me and others? Did I already do istisharah regarding the deal? Yea. Istisharah. Also a part of decision-making process I suppose. 

What is istisharah? It is basically when you ask a person who is an expert or knowledgeable or at least someone you trust that could give you some good ideas regarding the istikharah subject you wonder. I've come across few readings about which one should comes first; istisharah or istikharah? For me, it does not really matter of which one comes first. But how you try your best in making a good decision based on the 2 methods. Personally, I would prefer to do istisharah first. Then only I'll do istikharah (if I feel the need to). But note that istisharah and istikharah should complement each other especially when you are in the state of you could not even think right about making a good decision.

Now, this has come closer to the topic of "Why Istikharah?". I believe that whatever confusions we had in our mind, there must be reasons behind it. Perhaps, the confusions you had could be solved with you doing some readings about the issue or doing istisharah with others. It might be you have not yet in the state in which you are in need of istikharah to make a decision. You know, people, some might performed istikharah not only because they felt the need or wanted to be guided by Allah, but simply because they felt like they need to do it. Just because. Or simply because they had this thought where "istikharah" is a must in the process of making a decision. 

But the thing is there also some kinds of people in which #1 when they performed istikharah, they are full aware of the outcomes they might get; like the answers and the aftermath of deciding one particular thing. And even if it turned out that their decisions were not the best at the end of the day, they could just accept the fact that this, is part of their life; making a right or wrong decision that may affect their life. And #2 those who performed istikharah with the idea that, whatever decisions they will make after that is the result of the istikharah they have performed in which the objective is to make the best decision. So, when things started to be the way that they did not wanted it to be, they might blame the fate. Or worse they might have lost faith in God.

Those of #2 are the type that we should avoid of becoming one. That is why. Ask ourselves, why istikharah? Should it be a must in every decision-making process? To what extent you would rely on istikharah and have faith in whatever decisions or state God will put you in after you do istikharah? But one thing's for sure, Istikharah really going to help you a lot in making a very important decision that will later affect your whole life. As long as you have a fine level of tawakkal or faith in Allah and you know that no matter what, you could always accept your own qada' and qadr without questioning this and that in a bad way later on. 


Leaving you with that, I would love to remind you and my own self. Whatever outcomes that we may get after those decision-making process, even if things go the way we would not want it to. Always know that, He, Allah, al-'Alim and al-Hakim always and forever has the best plan for us.

Disclaimer: This is not necessarily about marriage luls bye.

What a Perfect Life

Going through the posts on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, looking at those pretty faces and huge houses of your friends, getting text messages from your friends who were so happy because they just received Dean's List, receiving an invitation card for your cousin's wedding, then you were just sighing words "what a perfect life they have."

Having a huge house, a nice villa of one's own family just for a sweet and short escape once in awhile, a beautiful appearance with pretty and flawless face, a good family with dad who is the CEO of one big company, a mom who is well-known among all other moms, cheerful siblings, educated in one of the best educational institution, a perfect gf/bf, a sweet husband, a wife who is best at multitasking, cute kids who could talk fluently at the age of 3 and the list goes on for a perfect life...

That is what a perfect life seems to be, well, at least, what is told in those dramas on tv and novels. Or, that is what we all have been dreaming of. Of a perfect life. Right?

But, the thing is, is that kind of "a perfect life" would definitely last longer? Isn't there any ends to those kind of life? What are the things await for a perfect life? Does a perfect life really means perfect?

I guess that we can never really have a perfect life. It might be impossible that everything is so perfect, nothing is wrong or we are never going to be sad. Everyone is going to encounter so many issues in their life. You might have a big and nice house, but you also going to feel lonely in the place you called your home. You might have a pretty face, but a lot of people might don't like you. You might have a good spouse, but you can't even have a child even after 10 years of marriage. That is life. Nothing is so perfect in this life. No one can be so happy all the time and no one can be so satisfied along the journey of their life.

"I guess that it is okay to not own a perfect life. Enough that you have a kind heart and a brave soul."

I am Sorry

I've been keeping things to myself. Like really I've always keep things to myself that there were times where I felt like I couldn't bear with it anymore. There were times when I thought I'm actually have gone mad and crazy and over-depressed and stressed out that lead to some psychological impairments. At times I felt like I'm supposed to be committed to an asylum.

These past few days, I've cried so much. I've cried inside. I've cried inside countless time. I've cried my lungs out.

There is this one person. Who used to hurt me countless time. Now, he's going to get married soon. And that's okay for me. His life now is nothing for me to care about.

But, I've no idea. All that I can think about now is, the guy, the one guy who've hurt me, who once cheated on me, who once take me for granted, who used to broke my heart into pieces with bad and hurtful words, who once belittle me for who I am, who made me think that I am the worst girl, who once put a blame on me without reasons, who call me names and he is who never ever say "sorry" to me and at least trying to apologize.

And now, that guy is going to get married and seems that he is so in love and is going to live his life happily with the one he loves.

Every little things happened, every memories, good memories, bad memories, every bad things he have said to me, every bad things he has done, I can't help but to remember all of them. I even have a box of stuffs containing our memories. I tried, I've tried so hard to forget everything or at least one memory about him. Yet the more I tried, the more I get hurt and the more I hate him.

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason I write this post, I guess this emotional post this time is not just to tell about the bad things one has done to me. I don't really know how to put this into words.

But until now, I guess, the only thing that I need to hear is a "sorry".

Please, people. If you ever done all those bad things to others, if you ever hurt one soul, of course you've hurt at least one soul don't tell me that you should be called a saint because you've never hurt anyone. We were all once there. We are. Please, if you ever done that, never hesitate to say sorry. You never know how meaningful a "sorry" is to those brokenhearted souls because of some bad things or even bad words caused by others. A sorry might save a suicidal person. Please, I beg you to ask forgiveness from the ones you've hurt.

A "sorry" might never heal wounds, but it might be the only thing that people who've being hurt wanted to hear. At least, they would feel that those who've hurt them are actually feeling bad for doing that.

This kind of thing, may lead to a forgiveness and healing. Think about it.

Up till now, I can't figure out how to forgive you, because you've never ask me so.
I've hurt so much I became the most heartless girl.
This kind of weird but, I am sorry I can't forgive you yet.

Hijab and Changes

Assalamu'alaykum!

It's always a pleasure to write on blog again! I mean, I have no better place to write on things that I would really love to talk about and is re-readable in the future. Because I'm a girl with a bad handwriting, I'm so serious lah mannn.

Such a bad and ugly handwriting will automatically turns my excitation to write into a "i have to stop writing now" mode. So, that is no good. While I really need somewhere, a platform where I can write the things that happened or my own thoughts that came across my mind which I really wish to not forget. Which I feel like I need this thing in the future. So, here is where I pour my hearts and minds to.

I started blogging since I was 13. And trust me, I used to have more than 5 blogs before. Back then, when I was 13, when I was still a so-called a kid or a teenager which is going through a phase of growing up and wanted to discover as many things as I can. I used to write whatever I wanted on my blog. As far as I can remember, I didn't even filter what I've wrote. I mean, I just wrote it the way I wanted. I told almost everything that happened in my daily life. I've said the things I shouldn't sometimes. I expressed my feelings about people on my blog, about the things that I like or hate about them, everything have been written on my previous blogs. Well, I've deleted all of my previous blogs hoping no one will remember about the things I've said and wrote (bcs I used to have few of loyal followers back then if I could say ;P)

But things have gotten a lot different as I growing up. I learnt about things that I should or should not tell people in real life as well as I learnt how important it is to know the limitations of the things I would love to share or would like to write on my blog, facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.
Thanks God, He showed me the way I should take into account about the things around me.

Now, back to the topic, hijab and changes. Basically I just wanted to share how Hijab really change my life.

I started to wear a proper hijab since I was 16, I guess. Covering the areas that really need to be covered. I have to admit that I was not a full-timer as a hijabi back then as there are few times that I don't wear hijab when I'm in the presence of the males who are not my immediate family like my male cousins or my aunts' husbands. (And I'm still struggling to wear a proper attire and be a full-timer as a hijabi until now.) Before that, I can say that I only wear a proper hijab and a proper muslimah attire when I was at school. But I used to disagree to wear a proper attire outside of the school like a looser dress or a longer tudung or shawl because it kind of burdening. For me, it was a burden. But Alhamdulillah, somehow, I can't remember when did I decided to don a longer and looser dress. I ended up to be used to it until now. I'm not comfortable anymore to be in a tight dress.

Then I started to think, what was the reasons and what is the significance to wear hijab? I mean, yeah, that is what Allah has command to us, as Muslim, to really cover our 'aurah regardless the gender. That is when I started to see hijab as not only a tudung or shawl, for women, neither as a songkok or any kind of dress that covers the part starting the area around the navel up to the knees specifically for men.

Hijab means something else. Not just what we are wearing.

I learnt that hijab is the way we show ourselves to the world. How we supposed to represent Islam. Not to brag. But to preach. To do dakwah. You know that one of the things that people can tell if you're a muslim or not is by what you are wearing. I'm talking about the first impression. Everyone has their own first impressions on things. So it's normal that people can judge you by the way you dress.

Really, Hijab is not just about what you are wearing. It is also what you do and say. It is the way you walk, talk, look and think. It is about who you are and the way you express your way of life. That is hijab. That is why Allah has command us to wear hijab and that is one of the significance to wear hijab and to cover your aurah properly.

With hijab, I learn to control myself on the way I should act publicly. I learn about the things I should say, write and share whether in real life or in the social media. I learn to think as muslim. It doesn't feel good when I know that I'm wearing hijab but still think about the bad thoughts on things or people around me.

With Hijab, I learn to change myself to be a better muslim. And I learn to change the way I write and share about things on social media.

That is our obligation. I love a quote by Fatma Pasha in 99 Cahaya di Langit Eropah saying that with hijab on, she's obliged to show the world what Islam is. She's obliged to act, talk and think as how a muslim should be. Islam is peace. That is how we should represent ourselves.

From the smallest matter to the bigger issues. I know that Islamophobia now has spread so widely and people with this phobia often judge by the attire that one is wearing.

I believe that it is one of our biggest tasks a muslim. To show the world that with Hijab on, regardless you are a muslim or muslimah, you have to act like one. You have to think and talk like a true muslim. That's the only way to change what people think about you. Making sure it's a good change and with even our slightest effort to change to be a better muslim in order to help the Deen of Allah, that is Islam, insyaAllah, Allah will help us too.

Let's be a better muslim!

May peace be upon you.

The Love is back!

Assalamu'alaykum everyone!

huh finally, I can write something on my blog. I really had not much time to switch on my laptop and sign in blogger to write here bcs really hectic days these days. Well, not thaatt hectic it just I'm too busy doing chores that's all ;P

So, here now, it's been a week since the Love is back! Who's the Love?

It's Ramadhan! Ya Allah Alhamdulillah, God still give me chance to enjoy Ramadhan this year. This is a great blessing bcs my last Ramadhan was just...I don't know, I don't think I did well last year. But Allah, He is The Most Merciful, still give me the life to live to actually do tawbah :'( I've sinned a lot :'(

Please pray for me that I will never waste this Ramadhan as how I did in previous years. And I pray that all of our deeds and tawbah will be accepted by The Most Merciful, The Greatest of All, Allah.

Thank you Allah. Thank you for the Love named Ramadhan. Thanks a lot. :')

About Love (briefly cheesy talk)

Assalamu'alaikum~

I am, now, studying, trying to finish the chapter 4 of Psyc 1000. But things get a little bit unbearable and all I need is a break for now xD

So today, suddenly, I remember about something. That little something called love.

I remember those days when my heart's pounding for a guy. I guess, those days happened, about few years ago, when everything seems okay for a love. To be honest, yeah, I didn't feel as such for this past few years.

I remember when those feelings came, I will tell my mom. I will tell her how about my feelings, exactly almost and everything about my feelings. Nothing to be hidden from a mom I guess.

The only answer or opinion from my mom after listening to my honest confessions, is, "that feelings, will just be temporary. It won't stay long. It will simply fade away someday. So don't hold for it. Don't even think about how you feel. Just live your life everyday without even think of such things. That thing happens to all teenagers like you, I knew it. So just let those feelings without even thinking to let it stay or not. You just have to ignore it. When it's going to fade, it will."

Those days, I thought that my mom is being a bit cruel to her only daughter. I thought that she had never understand my feelings even when she said she did.

But, after all, mom's always right. Now when I look back to those days, I know why did she ever told me such a thing. If only she told me the other way around.. thanks mom.

Now, those feelings that I used to had, are no longer there (in my heart). I even forgot about those feelings.

And it's a relief.

Now, I can further my studies without those messy feelings.

And I really need to go back to my chapter 3 of Psychology.

Until then.

Of 2015

Assalamu'alaykum~

So, the title is quite  cheesy and cliche. I knew it :p But then, it doesn't matter what the title supposed to be. The one thing that matter the most, and nearly have always been important is, the contents, the things about what I would love to talk about.

So, tomorrow gonna be the new day, the brand new start to everyone. It's gonna be 2016! I don't know how to say this, but this feeling, it is so unexplainable, I really have no idea how to put all this feelings into words. It's like I'm really running out of words, of the words that really matter to be expressed.

2015 has been a year of, I don't know, a lot of things happened, whether I like or not, they just happened. I've learnt so much, more than the days of 2015, or the hours through the year. I've laughed so hard, I've cried, I've been worried, I've felt the anxiety, the embarrassment, the everything. They are all sometimes mixed and happened just in one day. Surpisingly, I can remember some of the moments that brought me those feelings, it's just like yesterday

If only I had the time, I would write everything into one book. The book of 2015. Where I've learnt most of everything that I need throughout my life journey. To some people, some things that I've learnt might be the smallest thing to be cared of. But to me, big or small, more or less, we just have to learn about it. Everything has started ever since before I am ready for it. Well, sometimes I do expect or getting ready of some things, but, most of the things happened just definitely beyond my expectation.

In 2015, I am a daughter (as ever), I am a sister (as ever), I am a friend, I am a student, I am, sometimes as mom (to my baby cousins), I am a businessgirl (at deenfleurhijab), I am a poet (just in a certain ways and time), I am, whatever you've called me or whatever you've think of me, but no, I ain't that girl you always had in mind. Because I'm just me. Living everyday, and hoping that I have and will always gonna have tomorrow while sometimes, I hope I'd forgot yesterday and sometimes I hope I won't.

I don't expect much from 2016 that will be around just in a few hours to be as how 2015 went. I just wanna live everyday happily without having to regret for what I've done, because I used to be the one that, pathetically, always regret everything that I've done or that happened to me.

For the last words of 2015, THANK YOU should've be enough, for everything.

And may all of us can be much better than we were through this memorable 2015.

Until then.

New Daily Routine

So, I have about one month left before I embark to a new beginning, a new journey as a student of bachelor degree. I am yet to know what major I would get, that I would be studying, but, yeah let's just wait for it.

I started to think that I've spent my days, my holidays, doing absolutely nothing. It's exhausting actually, So, I just think that, I need to change. I need to change everything about my daily routine. So, the reason why I blogged this post is because I just need to have sort of a startup, because having a startup is definitely something a person, like me, need the most in order to do something beneficial. It kind of the thing that would kick me and force me to do something. Well, that was just my two cents. So, yeah ;p

And here's what I planned to do for my daily routine. Hope it'll goes as what I planned. Please, pray for me.

I need to perform the qiyam. Really hope I have the strength and willingness to do it! And stay awake until fajr prayer. Yeah, as a muslim, this is the best thing to start with. That, I was, shamefully never really care about. yeah, shame on me.

and then...

-make sure to have 2 cups of plain water after fajr prayer

-have a cup of teatox

-have a breeze morning walk or jogging (kalau i rajin) and some exercises, a simple workout

-have breakfast! 8.30 a.m at the earliest and 9.30 a.m at the latest!

-do some chores like laundry, doing dishes, or sapu sampah or buang sampah

-helping mom cooking for lunch

-have lunch with my little family

-perform zuhr prayer

-working out

-perform 'asr prayer

-have some sweet tea time

-perform maghrib prayer

-make sure to recite at least 1 page of the qur'an

-have a really simple dinner

-perform isya' prayer

-doing anything (that I can think of in the meantime)

-go to bed! (11 p.m at the earliest and 12.30 a.m at the latest)

So, those are the things that I am gonna do for my daily routine. Well it doesn't really have to be exactly what I'm gonna do at the exact time as what I've plan. Because, for sure, there are some works relating to my business that I have to do everyday. So, it just as how I plan and really hope everything will goes perfectly as how I expected it would be.

And I'm sure gonna update of what this new daily routine can do wonders to myself. Until then!

Still Alive

Assalamu'alaykum~

So,

yeah,

i'm still alive.

though the title or it might sound so cliche but babe, i'm alive. still alive.
for some reasons (tho i don't know what were the reasons), i didn't post any on this blog.
day by day.
one after another.

there were a lot of things that i have been through, a lot of things happened, bad and good.
all that i can do is just be so much thankful to HIM, The One who gives the life and death and the great planner! I know that He knows a lot and knows everything that people not know.

there must be a great wisdom behind all these happened.

yesterday was such a nightmare to me. had an accident and some bad things happened in one day. i just can't let the world know every detail of what happened. but somehow i really really need some du'a and motivational quotes from people.

i just need to get up and move on.
and.
i just need to be so thankful.

Allah...

anyways, due to the accident. i just had some minor knee injury which is sooo minor and nothing so bad happened to me which is so Alhamdulillah.
need some rest.
until then.

Give and Take.

Assalamu'alaikum~

So last time was a very short update. I have the problem of desperately wanting to write something on the blog without having any specific themes or topics to say or even to discuss about. Sometimes when I go through my blog and found one short update that I wrote which talking about an absolute random stuffs (no benefits at all) I somehow feel like gonna really delete such things. Sometimes it comes to the extent where I want to sepak myself for doing such.

-Not 'sepak' guna kaki tu, itu terajang (kick). 'Sepak' guna tangan (slap). Geddit?
Oh come on, omg, I successfully introduced to you the homograph from Malay words. Ohwow!
*self bro fist* (vain again)-.-

Well, it just annoyed I think. Seems like I really don't have anything good to share that might benefited to those who read. It just I've spent for a few minutes just to write something which is totally vain.

Now, I just want to talk something that less vain (hopefully) because there's no way I could do something which is innocently vainless. luls.

That is about "Give and take" as you can see my title above can't you? heee~

 Now, when dealing with social network, you really have to consider about that kind of give-and-take-concept. You know give and take? Of course you know kan? It is mutual compromises; generally from dictionary.

Give and take is when people reach for an agreement with one another by giving up and receiving something that they wanted. It comes in any forms such stuffs like books or foods, as well as in the form of giving ideas. Like a good-natured exchange of ideas, comments and feedbacks.

So, it is important as well to practice this give and take concept in the social medias like facebook, twitter, instagram, blog and the 3rd kind of web like whatsapp, wechat and you just name it  yourself 'cause I'm sure we are social network freak and knew and we have discovered almost every apps kan? hohooo~!

Some people, from my observation, they really make use of their social webs that they had. From just taking up some good inputs to giving back their own point of view in several topics. Likewise when they have giving up their ideas, they will take others' feedbacks or comments. These people, we really need them nowadays dalam-dunia-zaman-teknologi-komunikasi-tanpa-sempadan, endless. Because somehow, when we give the good things to others, we will apparently retrieve the positive vibes and ideas as what needed.

This positive things are totally a contradiction when we use our social webs aimlessly or without any good intentions. I meant, doing such a vain in the webs and, even worse when we use the social media to spread the bad thing and negatives such being a fake freak or cursing people through the facebook or twitter as how we can see nowadays. Well, what you give you get back kan? Know the consequences yourself.

In case you are categorized as one of those who are might have or already have been using this social network to do such bad things or even had commit cyberbullying (ini melampau), maybe dah boleh berubah 360 degree into the better person in social network.

You will never know the things that could ever happened to you. If do good, then insyaAllah Allah will reward you with the better thing. Otherwise, you might don't want to know the punishment that awaits you. Especially as a Muslim, to spread the good things and do dakwah is a compulsory for us. Selagi hayat dikandung badan. Do as much good deeds as you can. Spread the positives to show how good Muslim you are.

Give something good such as dakwah, beneficial information pon considered as 'Ibadah if you are a Muslim. See how beautiful Islam is. So, if you have a facebook, twitter acc (i'm sure you have. haha) then post lah status yang baik2, tweet the good things. If you have a blog, then write lah something yang beneficial. If you have instagram, post lah gambar yang baik baik. Because sometimes when we too often post our selfies, nampak macam selfish and it might bring harms. -THINK ABOUT IT-

GIVE AND TAKE on social network is to give others the good points as well as to take others' better points. Even if we are not in the consensus, at least, there'll always points to take, we just have to look for it.

-Yes, I'm trying my best to write benda benda yang berfaedah rather than post randomness more often.

#PrayForNurshahirahIzzatiAlias

*amboi.

heheee~!

Peace and Assalamu'alaikum~!